Scared


I’m scared.

I’m really scared at this time. Suddenly, when everything has come and I ready to step on my way, I’m scared of the future is waiting for me. It sounds silly, I know, but I can’t help it!

First of all, I have to worry about my finance, I have to make sure I have enough to finish my course, without cause any trouble for my mom.

Second, I have to live with my grandma, my aunt and my uncle’s family. I can deal with my grandma and my uncle’s family but my aunt’s family is another thing, I have to make sure my mom won’t hear any complain about me while I’m living with my relatives.

Third, I have to work at my aunt’s restaurant as my part-time job, even if I don’t like it. Though I have planned that I’ll find another part-time job to improve my income.

The fourth, the last but not least, I have to have a really good grades in my course to find a good job and to continue my study. I have to study very hard to have A average at the end of each semester to apply for a scholarship and have A average when I graduate. It will not be easy, because my classmates, as far as I know, they are all locals, have a good education and they are used to the lifestyle in Canada, etc.

I know I shouldn’t think about the negative things like this and I know, I can do this if I put all my mind and do my best. However, I’m still scared.

Inhale, exhale, inhale, exhale….

Calm down, I need to focus on my things, my ambitions, my dreams, stop thinking about the bad things and lose my confidence. At this time, I have to be confident and being myself to prove that I can fulfill my dreams, my ambitions.

Slap on the face

Focus, focus and focus. This is the path I chose, the way I have to go all alone, the dream which made me left my precious persons/things behind. Try my best and not to regret about things I have chose/done. That’s the way I am and I have to keep going. Don’t look back and regret, keep everything as beautiful memories but I have to keep going on my way.

This is the mountain I have to climb by myself! Be myself and keep going!

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